“It’s not about feeling better - it’s about getting better about feeling.” - Gabor Mate.
Distress tolerance is the ability to manage difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed or using unhealthy coping strategies. People with low distress tolerance may have trouble handling stressful situations and may resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a proven approach to help people improve their distress tolerance.
DBT teaches skills to help people become more self-aware and develop insight into when and how to use these skills in everyday life.
Some DBT distress tolerance skills include:
Mindfulness: Staying present in the moment.
Radical acceptance: Accepting things as they are
Distraction: Finding healthy ways to distract yourself when things get tough.
Pushing away: Temporarily pushing the problem out of your mind by distracting yourself with other activities, thoughts, or mindfulness.
Replacing negative thoughts: Replacing negative, anxious thoughts with activities that busy your mind.
Sensation: Using your five senses to self-soothe.
How to Practice Distress Tolerance Skills
Many practical and effective behaviors for distracting you from intense emotions are emphasized in DBT and other types of therapy, including:
Getting active: Do something involving movement that you know you enjoy, such as walking in beautiful surroundings. Or do something you'd be doing now if you weren't feeling so upset.
Contributing: Go outside yourself by focusing on helping others (for example, volunteering at a school or nursing home).
Comparing: Think of a time when you were even more emotionally distressed than you are now. Give yourself praise and credit for getting through that crisis and doing all you can to get through this one.
Triggering opposite emotions: Ask yourself, "What's the opposite feeling to the distress I'm feeling now?" Then, do something to make you feel the opposite way. For example, if you're angry, watch a comedy show or movie that always makes you laugh.
Thinking big: The idea is to fill your brain with other thoughts so there's no room for the distressing ones. You need a lot of detail for this one, so imagine something like decorating a beautiful new home room by room or, if you're in a crowd, guessing each person's profession.
Self-soothing: You may already be familiar with this calming technique, in which you use sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste to "treat" yourself to comforting, pleasurable experiences. But this time, think of how you'd comfort a loved one who's in the situation you're in now. Then, comfort yourself in the same caring and compassionate way.
Putting your body in charge: Some mental health professionals consider this the best way to get unstuck from the grip of intensely distressing emotions. It's based on the idea that where your body leads, your emotions will follow. So get going! Run up and downstairs. If you're inside, go outside. If you're outside, go inside. Your body and your emotions will thank you.
The goal of distress tolerance is to become more aware of how your emotions influence your response to distressing situations. Other stress management techniques that may help you build greater self-awareness and manage emotional stress more effectively include meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, and stretching exercises.
Reach Out To Downers Grove Counseling and Wellness
If we are the right fit for you, please reach out! We look forward to offering you authentic and effective mental health services and to helping you find wellness through collaboration, empathy and evidence-based practices. Find a licensed in-person or virtual therapist who will be the perfect fit for your mental health journey at DGCW.
Downers Grove Counseling and Wellness
4910 Main Street
Downers Grove, IL 60515
Phone: (630) 426-9719
Website: www.downersgrovecounseling.com
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